The HR Conundrum

Well, this is one of the top reason I don’t land up with job offers.

The following is a conversation that I generally have with HRs before (not) being given the role.

HR: So, Aditya, it has been good thus far and now for some general formality.

Me: Okay… (I know where this is heading)

HR: We would like to know your present salary.

Me: Oh, well, I do not think that is relevant since I have already said that I am looking at around this {insert an expected number here}.

HR: Okay, but we would need how much you earn right now, so that we can chalk out a competitive figure.

Me: Yes, so this {same number} is good for me, if that is not possible then I shall pass.

HR: Yes, Aditya, but we need to know how much hike would you be getting if we pay you that much.

Me: But if you don’t pay me that much I won’t be joining. Then there is no need for you to understand the hike.

HR: It does not work like this, Aditya.

Me: Okay, to be honest, I’m actually not taking a hike here. {This number} that I have mentioned is actually much lower than what I’m presently getting. Is that fine?

HR: Huh!? (perplexed at this point) Sir, we need to pass this information to the HR team and the hike will be determined there, we are ready to give you a hike if you aren’t getting one, we would just like to know how much.

Me: So you are saying that you bank on my previous employer’s ability to estimate my worth, and you are unable to value my contribution to your company by yourself? If you think the number is okay, then we can go ahead, otherwise as I said, I shall pass.

HR: Sorry sir, we need this information otherwise we may not be able to send you an offer.

Me: That is completely fine. Just tell me one thing, if I did tell you and if I did get a job and join, would you require me to sign a confidentiality agreement saying that I do not disclose my salary to anyone under any circumstances?

HR: Yes that is the protocol.

Me: Great, thanks. Have a nice day.

Thankfully there is a ray of hope here where a handful of managers overrule such absurd HR policies!

There is this other thing — notice period!

HR: So, what is the notice period at your company?

Me: It is 2 months.

HR: Oh okay, that is a lot actually, is it negotiable? We are actually looking to fill the position as soon as possible.

Me: Well, the policy is 2 months, I can’t say anything further.

HR: Well, our company has a buy-out option. We can roll out the offer if you can join in 2 weeks time.

Me: I’ll have to ask around. I shall let you know.

HR: Okay, I will wait for your call. (HRs don’t do anything over email!)

Me: Sure, also, what is the notice period at your company?

HR: It is 3 months, sir.

Me: That is a lot! Is it negotiable?

HR: We do not generally reduce it as we have to hire a replacement and have the knowledge transfer done, all that takes time.

Me: Okay, thanks! Have a nice day!

Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash

Procrastinator by profession, facetious by talk. Traveller, wanderer. Musician, writer. Engineer, Designer. Not in that order. www.adityaaserkar.in

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.